Pondering Pain

Does pain equal suffering? In the Bible Paul makes a big deal of suffering. Jesus, however, tries to dissuade his disciples from wishing they could be equals with him - or at least one on his right and one on his left - because he knows what suffering will ensue. Pain is a part of that suffering. Physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain, financial pain.

Pain is - well - painful. It hurts. Yet, we can become so inured to pain that we can ignore it - at least for a while. Dull aches, legs that twitch, backs that throb or mental/emotion anguish that goes on and on and on. After some length of time, we can function over and around that pain. We shrug it off as a part of life, like lost loves, deaths in the family, taxes, war.

However, that pain is with us and saps energy that might be used of other things like work or pleasure. We don't realize that we're missing some important things in life until one day, we just don't want to get out of bed. We have no meetings; we have no lunch dates; we have few internet friends; our hobby supplies are gathering dust; the exercise equipment isn't even plugged in. Then, someone asks - what brings you joy?

Yeah, right. Joy. We sing about that at Christmas. Joy to the world. Then we get a bit sarcastic and think about all the war and terror and wonder when the joy went. If we reflect on our own lives, we don't even know what brings pleasure any longer much less what brings joy.

So, we begin.

My life is full of beginnings. My fiber projects are so numerous that I can't keep track of all of them. I make some calls to friends and promise that I will stay in touch - until next Christmas I remember that promise. Several weeks ago, I said I wouldn't start another fiber project until I finished something already begun. Didn't happen.

But, I did finish this beautiful scarf with variegated red yarn - or did I post this already? LOL

And, I've acknowledged that my pain drains me. Adapting to my life situation with fibromyalgia will take a lot more time. My new C-PAP seems to be helping - too soon to tell. Until now, I've been suffering. Since I have a name for my pain, I don't feel as if I'm suffering. I hurt, I ache, but I'm okay...and I'm going to better.

Knitting at the beach

While I have been watching the ocean and listening to its waves on the beach, I've been doing handwork - crochet and knitting. We received a shipment of Lamb's Pride wool at the shop the day before I left, and I snatched up two skeins of variegated red on the way out. Here's the scarf I've begun with it - an older Noro yarn pattern that I found free on the web using short rows to make triangles. We also got the yarn in purple in worsted and bulky - so pretty.

And, before I left, my friend Nita gave me a bath mat that she had crocheted from double worsted Peaches & Creme cotton. It's much brighter than the picture shows - made with Gumdrops for those of you who know the P&C colors. So, I crocheted a couple of bath cloths for myself. The first was a bit lopsided, but the second turned out nicely. Well, almost anyway. Someday I shall learn how to crochet squarely. The mat is about 18 x 24 and the cloth is 9 x 12.

I also started a baby hat with Vanna's Baby Soft acrylic in blue - doing it magic loop - have about two inches done so far. And, cast on a Ty-Dy shawl in shades of blue, green and purple...only a few rows done yet.

The body is better; I get my C-PAP (machine that keeps me from having sleep apnea) next week; I'm getting over this virus and coughing; I have a great job; I have a great partner; and I'm so blessed that I spend a lot of time in prayers of thanksgiving. May 2009 bring the same joy for you.