I agree with the Pope

"While the poor of the world continue knocking on the doors of the rich, the world of affluence runs the risk of no longer hearing those knocks, on account of a conscience that can no longer distinguish what is human." Pope Benedict XVI in Caritas Veritate, his new encyclical on the world economic system. (Guardian)

While I disagree with the Pope on many things, most things, this statement has a ring of truth, particularly if you change the word human to humane. This makes the statement more understandable to the rest of the world. The Pope and I already know that to be human is to be and act humanely.

Now, we have to convince the very rich that sponsoring children in Africa, adopting orphans, building fairy-tale ranches and such are not the full way of treating the rest of the world as humans. Do my beliefs mean that I'm going to give up my pleasures? NIMBY (not in my backyard).

We have more than enough, but we're not rich like Trump or Jobs or some movie stars or entertainers or jocks. Or Madoff. In fact, rich today seems to mean someone with nine figure assets or income. Wow!

Or does it mean someone with six figure assets and income? What determines richness today?

Better yet, is richness determined by monetary worth? And, if it's not, then how do we keep a conscience, enjoy our blessings (of all kinds) and remember what being human means.

Returning to Church

Some of you have read my story of non-ordination and the ensuing 20 years of ministry, and some of you know that I have not been a church-goer much less a participant in several years.

Today I attended a small church in Jacksonville, NC, and felt as if I entered a place of blessing. One Sunday, one communion, but a changed attitude. I remember singing, "Just as I am......." ad infinitum in the Baptist Church, but always being moved by the simplicity of its message. The simplicity of getting in the car and driving to this church, walking in the door, and participating in the liturgy made me feel as if I had never been away.

God and I have been getting along rather well, but I suspect a new ministry is going to present itself to me soon. I've been having dreams of being in the wrong place but having to bide my time for the right place.

So, Baptist or otherwise, I continue to sing "Just as I am...." and "here I am, Lord"
and, if I can only touch the hem of the garment....

Friday Five

Topic is our closets - whee, dogie!

1. Are you a hoarder, or are you good at sorting and clearing? I sort and clear very well when the stuff belongs to someone else, but I'm about to mail one of my great grandmother's dresses to a relative. Obviously, the females of my family have been hoarders. I have neatly marked boxes in the garage - Childhood -useless junk, Too Little, Computer parts, Files, Winter, Fleece,..... So, I hoard in an orderly fashion.

2. What is the oddest garment you possess and why?
I am not ordained, but my friend Alison was convinced that I would be someday. She gave me an antique red silk chasuble, stole that is too short for anyone over 5'2". I have it safely packed away with no anticipation of needing it soon. And, my great grandmother's dress and my brother's sailor suit when he was 2 years old, etc.

3. Do you have a favourite look/ colour?
I just like color - although red is my favorite color, I also enjoy turquoise and bright blue. And, I have hats and jewelry to match most things.

4. Thrift/ Charity shops, love them or hate them? My hats mostly come from thrift shops, and some of my clothes - few in my size where I live now. Love them, love them. Buy broken jewelry to make into other things - also belts that I deconstruct and purses and ....hmmm, you get the idea.

5. Money is no object, what one item would you buy? A swimsuit that fits and looks good.

Now the truth of my closets is that I have one closet of pants that fit my larger (now) size. I lost a few pounds a year or so ago and bought new clothes. Gained the weight back. Forgot where I put my clothes. Bought new ones. Now have twice as many clothes as I can possibly use, but I rotate them, and I wear them out and nothing goes to waste. I recycle when they cannot be worn any longer.

Happy Fourth of July!

Empathy and Who Gets The Job

"Mr. Ricci and his fellow petitioners understandably attract the court's empathy, but they had no vested right to promotion, and no person has received a promotion in preference to them."

- Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, dissenting from Monday's Supreme Court ruling that white firefighters were the victims of discrimination when the city of New Haven, Conn., discarded test results that revealed disparities in scores between black and white applicants for promotions. Her choice of the word "empathy" in her spoken statement seemed to reference conservative criticism of President Obama for saying he wants judges who can show empathy for those who are vulnerable. (Source: Los Angeles Times) (I picked this up from Sojourners Online. Emphasis is mine.)

The word "empathy" may be referencing President Obama's desires in a judge, but certainly during her lifetime, Justice Ginsburg has felt the kind of discrimination that results from discarded tests and preferences that had nothing to do with qualifications. I heartily support her use of the word. And, in most cases no one has a vested right to promotion. Most promotions are based on many things including written materials, length of duty, color of skin/eyes/hair, leadership qualities, obvious abilities/strengths, politics, political correctness, financial support and the like. While most places try to promote on the basis of concrete qualifications, that's almost impossible. Our internal biases and preferences as well as initial impressions do make a difference in who gets the job.

A Texas Joke

Texans

Gabriel went to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing some real problems ....

They're swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they are wearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there's barbecue sauce and picante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; their dogs are riding in the chariots and chasing the sheep.

They are wearing baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their
halos... They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clean, and their boots are marking and scuffing up the halls of Wisdom. There are watermelon seeds and tortilla chip crumbs all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing; and they insist on bringing their darn horses with them."

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is home to all of my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

So Gabriel calls the Devil who answers the phone and says, "Hello --
hold on a minute."

When he returns to the phone the Devil says, "O.K., I'm back. What
can I do for you?"

Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kinds of problems you are
having down there with the Texans."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said. "I'm back. Now what was the question?"

Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there with the Texans?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this ... hold on."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes and when he returns he says, "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Red Adair has put out the fire and Brown & Root is installing air conditioning.

Codependent

Welcome to my world of codependency. Here life moves along lines that attempt to be parallel to each important person in my world. For instance: if my partner feels unhappy, I feel guilty for not making her happy. Even though she may be unhappy about things beyond my control or knowledge.

When my boss laments the drop in business, I immediately try to do something to increase traffic in the shop or sales. Even though - people may not have the money to buy yarn or may be involved in doing other things since summer is here in full force.

My guilt is that I cannot fix their unhappiness, lack of business, achy bone joints, lack of understanding, illness or other malady. I should be able to do that. Isn't that part of my job?

Oh, wait. I forgot again. I'm not God, nor god, nor godde, nor goddess. I'm not even a successful business person, or a priest or a counselor or a doctor. So, here I sit feeling guilty that I am not a person who works miracles immediately.

Alas, I can do nothing about that either. Therefore, I will simply take my medicine, gather my clothes for work tomorrow and prepare for bed with a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart - gratitude that I don't have to make everyone happy or fix anyone's problems - not even mine.

energy versus money

Scientists say that the energy in the world is limited. That's part of Einstein's theory of relativity. Value or money is not limited. Or is it? The amount of stuff that my money will buy seems to be limited by the value placed on that money by the great god of finance. If the United States has a deficit, then that money (or its value) has to have gone somewhere. In this case, much of it has gone to nations overseas. They have bought the value of the United States in buying stocks and making loans.

Okay, so this is convoluted. As the number of people in the world increase, does the value of money increase. Supposedly, productivity increases value. But, productivity also decreases the resources available and should decrease value. If we use up all of our oil resources, then our value has decreased by that amount. We don't seem to be able to convert whatever energy the use of our oil resources creates (law of relativity) into value. Instead, the use of our oil resources not only decreases our value of resources, it decreases the value of the earth as a whole by producing gases that make holes in our ozone layer leading to global warming and all that jazz.

Wait, I'm getting to a point where I understand something. The more people in the world, the more we are using resources that have value and producing something that decreases value. So, the more people in the world, the less value is possible for each person. The more value/resources/money that one person has decreases the value possible for other people.

The balance between the law of relativity and the law of value is alike. We cannot reconvert the "by products" of using resources into another resource - like energy converts into matter and vice versa - one valuable resource must convert into another for the balance to be maintained. That's not happening.

We are using our resources to burn ourselves out of existence because we don't know how to reconvert the by products of our used resources into different valuable resources. We cannot go on this way.

The points of this post are
1. We are using value faster than we are creating value.
2. The more value that I accumulate, the less someone else has.
3. Value is limited because we cannot convert "by products" back into value.
4. Someday the people of the world will use up too much value and people will die.
5. I wish this were not happening in my lifetime.

Today is different

Yesterday I was really down. I felt that I had lived all of life that I really wanted to live. I was okay with just dying last night. As I prepared for bed, I figured, well, I'll either wake up or I won't, and I don't want control over which happens. I took my normal medication, did my stretch exercise, knitted a bit, put on my CPAP mas and turned out the light. So, I went to bed, and I woke up today. I didn't die.

Today is different. Today promises the same heat, the same chance of thunderstorms, the same job (which I love most of the time), the same partner, the same bed, the same dent in my nose from the CPAP - but today is different.

Yesterday was sad. Today may be also. But, today's sad will be different from yesterday's sad - and I like different. Most of you know that I'm an eclectic person. I've had so many jobs that I don't remember many of them. I lived in lots of different houses. I have lots of different acquaintances. I've lived with lots of different money situations. I thought I wanted to try suicide once and got rid of everything that could be used to do it (about 25 years ago).

Today, one of my friends has an operation for cancer. Today, I go to work. Today, a yarn rep is coming and I get to see all the lovely new yarns. Today, my partner made my lunch. Today I woke up early. Today is different than yesterday. And, I appreciate that.

So, whatever the day brings, I choose to see it and be it and do it. And, if I'm down again tonight, I'll just eat something crunchy, pet the cats, and go to bed early. After all, tomorrow will be different.

On my needles

Here's what I'm knitting now. Two feet done of a table runner, about 15 inches wide in Fiesta La Boeheme Carribean colorway. This is a mohair and rayon boucle double strand dyed together. The stitch is from Harmony Guides: Knit and Purl called Wave.

Avalanche by Leonard Cohen

Thanks to Badtux

How well do you know me?

Facebook has a lot of these questionnaires popping up now. We who are addicted to Facebook take a lot of quizzes and post the results. For instance, the classic movie star whom I am most like is Katharine Hepburn. Well, who wouldn't want to be like her? I can list my favorite movies (difficult since I don't watch movies much), my heroes, and I can compare these choices with other friends' choices. I can compete in games on Facebook.

Still, "How well do you know sharecropper?" seems a bit presumptuous to me...more than a bit egocentric. But, then, Facebook is egocentric in its concept. Why would I think that others might be interested in what I'm doing at any given moment. The cartoon showing Roland Hedley who uses Twitter to communicate everything is how I once felt about Facebook. And, I can't imagine using Twitter.

How well do my blogger friends know me? I'm tempted to insert a quiz right here, but, unless you have met me personally, you know only what I want you to know and what I let slip or what you can surmise.

You know that I live on a creek and enjoy my jet ski. You know that I have a partner. You know that I like fiber arts and work in a yarn shop. You know that I'm retired and have some deep psychological probings at times. You may know that I was an invalid for a few years and am now getting better. You know that I'm a liberal and more or less a Christian.

You may not know that I cherish each friend who posts a comment here. Or that I pray for people I know (in person, online, alive, dead, otherwise). Or that I thought I knew a lot about computers until I bought a computer magazine and discovered a whole different terminology than I had learned.

You may not know that I spend a lot of time in thought and have gotten very quiet over the years. I once had an opinion about everything; now I'm not so sure about anything. You may not know that I grieve deeply over deaths and resolve to keep those people alive in my heart.

You know, if you look at posting times, that I am awake in the middle of the night more often than I'd like to be and that I take long morning naps to compensate.

You may not know that, while I am very successful in what I do best - love people, I have never kept a job very long and have had such a variety of jobs that I often forget some of the things I've done. I think this just illustrates my insatiable curiosity about the world and how it/we work(s).

So no quizzes tonight - just sleepy-eyed reflections and revelations. And, yes, I am addicted to Facebook as much as I am to this blogging business.

Responsibility, Depression, Saying No

Now that we're 63.5 years old, we have developed a sense of responsibility that can get us into trouble. And, we lag along sometimes - tired, out of sorts, me eating everything in sight-partner eating little - refusing to do anything about our depression on the days when we recognize it and forgetting it on better days. Our backgrounds enhance our ability to nod instead of saying no, and we find ourselves over doing, which works along with the depression and the sense of responsibility to produce exhaustion.

So, the crux of the problem is exhaustion. So, I'm going back to bed as soon as I finish this. By the time she gets back from church, I'll feel better. I hope they sing some great music because that's partner's only hope of coming home feeling better.

thanks be to God that it is Sunday and we have little that must be done. We can recover gently from our overweening sense of responsibility (I worked 3 days this week and she's serving for the third time this month), our depression (maybe a jet ski ride late this afternoon) and our inability to say NO (even though we know it is a complete sentence). We have some visitors this afternoon but I trust they will not assume this is KOA and stay too long.

Rest, comfort, rest, and the next week will look better.

President Obama, can you hear?

Thanks to Pseudopiskie