Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Rationality dragging emotional being along

I have agreed to begin Weight Watchers tomorrow at noon, along with my partner and my friend. I’ve been online and my BMI is in the obese range. In addition, my legs and lower back hurt some and I get tired very easily.

But, I’m not terribly happy about this; I’ve always been a non-joiner, a do-it-yourselfer. So going to a meeting every week is not my idea of happiness. However, I’m not looking for happiness at these meetings. I’m looking for happiness in better health.

Still, I confess that I don’t want to go, I don’t want to watch my caloric intake, I don’t want to give up my quantity of breads and replace them with vegetables or protein. It’s just not what I want to do.

My rational self is dragging my emotional self along on this trip. I confess that I expect to be like people who pick up a white chip at AA, last a few weeks, and then drink again. For this to succeed, I must really want it to succeed. While I really want to lose weight, I don’t want to work at it.

Sigh. I want to be well. I want to be healthy. I want not to hurt. My weight has gotten out of hand; my life is now unmanageable in respect to food. I don’t know when I am full until I am stuffed – even if I wait that 20 minutes before having seconds. I cannot do it. So, I’m turning to a program with lots of endorsement and some proven success. And, I’m turning to God because I know I won’t last more than two days without some help...even with the support of my partner and my friend.

I’ll give a monthly report on this – not going to talk about it for a while – just going to do it and see what happens. Bleah.


PseudoPiskie said...

Good luck! I've been going to Curves. I haven't lost much weight but I do have muscles for a change. I wish I had someone with whom to share the struggle. You're lucky in that respect. I will watch for progress reports. Maybe that will encourage me.

Missy said...

I wish you luck. Right now I'm just trying to exercise it off--I'm terrible at dieting. I may be forced to try someting like WW soon. Ugh. It's hell growing old.

June Butler said...

Share Cropper, God bless you as you go forward with Weight Watchers. Ya gotta give it a go, girl, unless you have a better alternative.

I know how difficult it is to eat what you don't want to eat, and not eat what you do want to eat. I'm somewhat overweight, but not in the obese category, and, "It's a-hard and it's hard, ain't it hard, great God...."?

Janis Bland said...

Good on ya! I wish you the best.

I'm with you, I have desperately lose weight. I've tried WW, but I get obsessed with the points thing. I just have to really make an effort to eat healthier and EXERCISE.

Suzer said...

Wishing you luck! I struggle with the same thing daily. I generally don't last more than 5 days on a diet.

don't eat alone said...

Glad you're going to WW -- I'm six weeks in and 18 pounds lighter. It works and you are not alone.


Saint Pat said...

I'll be here rooting for you, and watching for tips. I've been losing a battle I haven't wanted to fight.

Maybe we can support each other online.