Sunday, June 22, 2008

Finally

Yesterday, I got to ride my jet ski for a bit. The weather was very cooperative and so was my breathing. 80 degrees, overcast, barometric pressure holding steady after a rain storm, water smooth, friends to help. So, I made the most of it. Lots of figure eights, varying speeds, checking out the neighbors up the creek, watching the geese.

Also got to see the local osprey bathing in the shallow water on the point across the creek. And, the great blue heron that feeds in the shallows amongst the cypress knees.

Someone asked me what I do on Sunday since I don't go to church. Well, I usually check in with the blogs I read regularly and see who needs prayers and such. I watch the osprey and the heron. I fill the bird feeders and watch the birds. I pet the cats. I take lots of deep breaths and fill my soul with quiet. I listen.

Lately, I am working on learning more about trust: how we build it, rebuild it, what keeps it going, and I want to relate that to faith - trust in God. So, I'll be writing about trust in the future.

I'll also be writing more about the work I'm doing with the book Forgiveness by Simon and Simon - lots of good exercises. And, I'm stuck right now on writing letters of apology from those who have hurt me. Well, really, I guess I'm stuck on the steps before - figuring out who hurt me and how. Strangely, that brought out the former blog about relationships and sex. But, my mother figures strongly in all this. My father less directly.

So, for right now, I'm back to the osprey, the creek and the birds - oh yes, and my knitting and prayers.

2 comments:

klady said...

I just wanted to thank you again for your powerful writing and sharing some of your struggles. I read the essay on fear and sex several days ago and wanted to say something but came up short. We've had some similar experiences but with some different outcomes. Perhaps we share the fear of being hurt yet again. I hadn't thought about forgiveness for some time, but right now I have had suddenly thrust upon me some painful news from my mother, which dug deep into all the old wounds in ways that revealed that there were far more than I ever imagined. She is still alive but our relationship is nearly over. I can barely speak of this, and I do not want to disturb your path to freeing yourself of the pain and anxiety that lingers as a result of past hurts from many. Just know I have read what you have written, thank you once again for writing with such clarity and courage, and I pray that you will find the peace you need and deserve.

Judith said...

I echo what klady said.

And your instincts are right -- go to the cats and the birds and to nature in general for healing. I have a friend who rises early to see the egret who lives in her yard. She always feels a blessing when she sees it.

I spent three hours today canoeing a shallow little river in New Jersey. My blessing was a buck with a HUGE array of antlers. He came down to the river's edge to watch me pass. There is something very healing in this.