Friday, July 13, 2007

Some things figured out

Well, partner and I had a talk this morning. Answers, yes. Resolutions, possibly. Agreed in love, definitely.

House renovation - pipe dream for me, borrowing money and paying interest for her

Towels - replacing old and white towels with color and new for me, use it till its worn out for her

Clutter - overwhelming for both of us (except that corner of my office), resolve to get rid of stuff and rearrange what's there - also both resolve to keep clutter down in bedrooms to alleviate anxiety, labeled specific areas that bother us

Money - house renovation may be possible with use of current funds, home equity loan and other resources - looking at reasonableness of that and recovery of investment when sold when we're too old to live here

Money - resolve to go thrift shopping but if I buy "stuff" to get rid of equal amount of "stuff"

Money - both have similar goals now and agreed on plan for spending, saving, etc. (I think)

Isolating - I do it, I like it, it's okay with her. She doesn't, she likes it, it's okay with me.

Finding other interests - still in quandary - tend to adopt folks who drain my energy, emotions and other resources - helping those in need still main interest but scared of getting too involved - so am staying away.

Will explore possibilities for art classes at local art store and community college - need inspiration as much as classes.

Jewelry - need inspiration and something to do with finished product - not good in sales area - isolating so don't really want to get out and find somebody to sell it.

Agreed to discuss thoughts and feelings more often to avoid misunderstanding. Also talked about my need to analyze "how did you get there?" and her (and sometimes my) inability to figure that out...but okay to ask the question.

Hey, I think we did well on this round of relationship work. Yea! Us!


June Butler said...

Wonderful work between the two of you, Sharecropper.

...tend to adopt folks who drain my energy, emotions and other resources...

I know what you mean.

Nina said...

There is no harder work than relationship work, is there?

Looks like you did it beautifully--yea you two!

The discernment of what is the gift I'm called to give and what is draining is so difficult and so complex--for me, the perceptions have so much to do with my own stuff, and I revert to the oxygen mask principle: I've got to be breathing before I can put someone else's mask on. Usually if I can discuss boundaries with someone it can stop being draining: if I can't, it's not fixable.

Cecilia said...

"I love and am loved." That says it all... the rest, as Episcopalians might say, is adiaphora!

Seriously, these differences are the heart of what is toughest for me in relationship as well. So glad to hear about two people who are working hard to work through it all.

Pax, C.